dashboard conf;
several ways to die trying


IM COMPLETELY TRAUMATISED BY MY OWN DISTURBING BEHAVIOUR!!
last week i stupidly attempted to cut my own fringe and and
the outcome is horrible..!
now i look like a pri sch kid!!!!!
ahh! after years of trying to look less kiddy,
my itchy fingers snipped it all awayyy!
great.
hrmpf.
so please do not laugh if i look shockingly weird..
im upset enough alr..
:((((


+ embarassing bimbotic encounters..
i.e shouting hi to yiqin but it turned out sounding more like a shriek and apparently my whole class heard, looking at me in appall

and fell over my own feet out of the blue while stoning because i was subconsciously twisting my ankle a little too much (habit)

and and tumbling about in a jerky double decker bus while attempting to descend the stairs..and practically the entire upper deck was my sch people, privy to charm + my weird noises..


-.-"


and tdy elleteejay was being SO EXTREMELY NICE!
-rolls eyes.
inner battle + complete fear = evasion
except that we can evade no longer..
tsk, highly annoyed.


++ undelivered, empty promises..


hrm.
ws a bad+boring day..
till..floorball!! fun!!
though we were all complete amateurs
looking very retarded, whacking at the ball in any way we want to (ok maybe it ws just me)
but! it was highly enthralling and exciting!
:D :D
lost the last match cos the ball erm went up my shorts from below, somehow..and was too -raises eyebrows- to react!
oh well.
still, i like! :)


//EDIT
jst found out smth (again)
and im really just wondering (like every other day)
why does it seem like people are interested in making as many friends as possible, socialising at the utmost, pretending to like you when they dont really do, judging you by how you look like, not bothering / wanting at all to really know you but beaming at you and forging a friendship with you when they have secret thoughts that you dont know about.

labelling you as a bimbo, for example, just because you flail and scream about a lot (NOT LIKE I CAN HELP IT OKAY and stop pretending its only a joke. not gonna believe anything anyone says anymore.)
cant help it, being born without a pretty face or whatever.

completely disgusted and disturbed by all these people around me.

its really freaky how you dont know about all the secret thoughts people are habouring, your untold stories suddenly leaking out to the rest of the world flippantly.
if theres any good out of it,
its to learn never to believe in people easily.
they just let you down overnight.
to think i stood up for people i thought i knew, i thought were my friends.
hello?!?!??!
is this what the world is like?
i know it is, but the superficiality seems exceedingly extreme at my side of the world..
overwhelming disappointment in people i realise i dont even know / dont even know me.
oscillating from anger to sadness to disgust.
all the bad vibes
just keep evolving.